Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Dear Jive Turkey,

Today our hopes were crushed. Again. We had to give up the throne in the beauty pageant because the judges absolutely *refused* to crown us both Queen Pretty. We told them from the beginning that we had to share the title, or neither of us could fulfill her royal duties. But they ignored our stipulation and thus we were forced to bow out, knocking over the podium in a destructive yet dainty tantrum as we went.

The Queen Pretty pageant is a brutal one; full of lies, social-climbers, and itchy fabrics. There is no room for your humanity. Puke it up with your lunch in the ladies' room.

On the up side, pageants a-plenty await our graces in the future. We will win back the twinkling eye of lady luck and poke her in it.

The Steamies


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