Dear Mick Jagger,

Our cool uncle recently played "She's so cold" for us when we were waiting for our pharmacist to arrive. Mick, what the hell? Seriously. "Put your hand on the heat"???

What does that even mean? If it means what we think it does, we are shocked and chagrined. Come on, you're old enough to be everybody's grandpa. We're not putting our hands on your friggen heat! Not even one of us! Not even if we had stiff muscles and needed you to give us a heating pad to relax them.




In conclusion, keep those pot handles turned in and keep turning in to pot, kids!



xoxoxo

niki and lainey

Kissing Frogs

Niki: Check out these callouses! They're from using hot curlers.

Lainey: That is devotion to a hairstyle. Too bad they look like warts.

Niki: They're not warts! *wipes them on Lainey*

Lainey: Yuck, don't infect me with your warts!

Niki: Now you're gonna have to kiss a frog and lick his genitals!


A frog told me that.



Fricken Tricky German Frogs!


kisses!

niki and lainey

Jerkus Circus comin' to gitcha!

Although no animals were harmed during the show, a blow-up sheep was fingered, a rubber chicken molested, and a taxidermed crow flew again.
Thanks again to everyone who came out! Don't forget, this happens the third Thursday of every month at Ralph's with different freaky acts!






Beginning of the night. Lainey's not taking any crap.











Singing "that stalker song"





Nevermore!















Barry Tattle, the European Love God














Myq Kaplan, our resident Cunning Linguist with a barnyard friend.





The audience is either rapt or frightened into submission.





Our second favorite "justache,"(Just a mustache)Danny with his "little friend" and a chugging dude.





Danny Morsel, Combat Dancer, kicking ass and taking hostages.











Why work, indeed. The ever professional Brian Longwell







Meet Mistress Cheetah, the mean Mistreatah.





Don't get too close. This kitty will put you in a friggin headlock.







We're going all "Fight Club" MEEEOOW!


Sooooo Scary!



Robby Roadsteamer and his five fingers of fury!






Watch out, or he'll put a baby in you!



Wait, aren't we supposed to be hosting??



That's all for now, kids!

xoxoxoxoxx

niki and lainey